Late last evening, after having spent a long day with the children, I could start to sense that my chest was starting to feel heavy. I wanted to start reaching for deep breaths, but reminded myself that I am okay, that I need not fear, and that after just a couple more songs and prayers I would have my own time of rest.
This is my daily battle. I’ve finally come to acknowledge that I have an anxiety disorder.
It’s hard to write that. It’s hard to admit that. I honestly don’t know how it started and at the same time I do. I wrote about my first anxiety attack here, over a year ago. Since that day, the anxiety within me has been like a rolling wave, making its way over an endless ocean.
Sometimes I feel like I’ve swam through the current making my way to the top of it… and feel, at peace. Then, somehow the rain pounds on me, from above, and I come crashing down, drowning, left without breath.
This cycle has ensued for the better part of a year. Up and down, up and down, up and down. I’ve visited the emergency room 2 times over the past year, thinking that there had to be something physically wrong with me. I’ve had physical symptoms from breathlessness, sharp pains in my back, chest, arms, jaw, and dizziness. I’ve had tingling sensations in my head, hands and fingers. You name it, I’ve had it.
I just couldn’t believe that these symptoms could have been caused by my anxiety. I wouldn’t accept that. To me, in my mind, it had to be something else. A heart attack…cancer. After about the first 8 months of having my first anxiety attack, I started slipping into a depression and didn’t realize it.
I woke up looking forward to go back to bed. For me, it was the only time of day that I could rest. In my sleep, I didn’t feel any symptoms and I could breathe normally, without thinking about it. I wasn’t having anxiety attacks every day, it was just the dreaded symptoms of my anxiety that kept my mind thinking all day long what could possibly be wrong with me.
I know this sounds completely crazy for those of you that have never suffered from something like this, but for me, it was very real.
Praise God, I have two amazing sisters in my life. They are both social workers, and one of my sisters was working towards a masters in therapy. They have dealt with a lot of mental disorders. Yeah, crazy I’m even writing that. One day my sister was facetiming me from California. She could see my eyes glassed over, that my thoughts weren’t on our conversation but on me. I think it was at this time, she went into therapy mode. I didn’t realize what she was doing but in our talk, I finally broke down and told her that I could not deal with this on my own anymore. With tears streaming down my face, I felt the tension just release from my soul.
For the first time in a long time, I felt better in finally acknowledging that I needed help.
It has since been 7 months since that talk with my sister and I’m by no means, “cured.” I am getting through my days though, joyfully. I can honestly say that it’s only been since the last couple of months that I’ve felt the best that I have in a long time.
This anxiety thing is so complicated. There’s so much to it and it effects people in so many different ways. For me, I’ve finally had to get it through my head that I suffer anxiety and had to realize that when I start feeling certain symptoms, that that’s all that it is. My bodies nervous system is off and I’m very sensitive to any slight sensation that runs through my body.
Since my first anxiety attack, I have done and changed many things in my diet to help but one thing is for sure, It takes changing your mind, your thought process to begin recovery. I feel like I’m just stepping into this. For the purpose of this post, I want to share with you one change in my diet that has helped me tremendously; however, I plan on sharing the most important thing that has helped me through this as well. Walking through this valley of death with my Lord, Jesus.
If there is one thing that’s going to bring you close to Jesus is thinking that you may die. It’s finally recognizing that this life is temporary and that our lives have to be aligned with Jesus. Seriously, we are all going to die. We are all going to take our last breath. That thought, for many, can be scary. It is scary. I know Jesus was scared when his time was drawing near. But like Paul, this trial I’ve been walking through has taught me that for me to live is Christ, and to die is gain (Philippians 1:21)
The one thing about anxiety is that it all stems from one thing, and that’s fear. Wow, the enemy had his hay day with me! He has been trying to undo my faith. To keep me from believing in a living and loving God…for over a year. But, not anymore! I refuse, refuse to live in fear! Jesus has been by my side this entire time. And as this father screamed to Jesus, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” I too have come to Jesus to say the same.
Today, I’m standing much stronger than I ever have.
In this rainy season, Jesus, I praise you. God is brilliant, He’s awesome, And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). So why fear, right?! Not me, not anymore!
Drink This To Calm Your Anxiety Naturally and Quickly
As I’ve said, there are a variety of changes I’ve made to my diet but one thing has given me immediate relief of my anxiety symptoms. It calms my nervous system almost immediately.
Before I share with you what you need to drink to calm you anxiety naturally and quickly, I want to let you know that I’m planning to write an entire post on how I’ve been treating my anxiety disorder naturally. That’s going to be a long post. For me, my symptoms of heaviness in my chest and more difficulty in breathing seem to increase during the evening hours, when I’m most tired…and less apt to think rationally. I was drinking a glass of wine at night to help calm my nerves; however, once the alcohol made its way through my body, I felt that my symptoms were often times worse.
In my own research, I’ve finally found one thing that helps my nervous system calm down almost immediately without any side effects at all.
I know, crazy, right?! It’s true though. Tea calms me down immediately. In my own natural living journey, I’ve been learning a lot more about how to incorporate herbs and their essential oils to ease my anxiety. So I was so happy to learn that these remedies truly work.
I drink 4 glasses of tea per day. A combination of lemon balm and stress zapper tea from The Bulk Herb Store. Both of these teas, really help calm my nerves, almost immediately. I drink them plain without any added sweeteners. I drink a glass in the morning, one in the afternoon, one right after supper, and one before bed. Its helped me get through my days and allows me to sleep well.
This is just one of the many things I do, but one that I feel is the most effective and that truly helps calm my nerves right away.
This is just one of the things that I do and soon, I’ll be sure to share so much more.