A month ago I found myself sitting at a coffee shop writing a post about how functional medicine is making me well again. After a long summer, in and out of doctor’s appointments and finding healing through functional medicine, I never suspected that my Mami was dealing with health issues of her own.
My Mami has always been a strong, healthy woman that when her back started giving her problems a few weeks prior, I never considered that it was more than just a backache. That backache; however, wasn’t healing but instead leaving her lethargic and weak. A day after sitting at that coffee shop, my Dad and I took her to the clinic for an evaluation.
She was struggling to walk.
Even then, I was praying that it was a pinched nerve or something due to her arthritis, but instead, after a grueling week of ct scans, an MRI, and blood labs, my Mami was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Her backache was a tumor that was literally crushing her spine.
Her cancer was aggressive, she was already weak, and needed immediate radiation to shrink the tumor on her spine that would have left her paralyzed. The following four weeks are a blur.
She decided to forego chemotherapy and instead try a natural route to slow her cancer called, The Gerson Therapy. My sisters and I took turns staying with her for a week at a time to be her full-time caretaker and provide extra support for my father. Both my sisters and I ended up being by her side nearly every day.
My Mami tried hard to follow the therapy but the cancer was moving too quickly. The Gerson Therapy needs time that she didn’t have. Four weeks after her diagnosis, my Mami passed into the arms of Jesus – a triumphant victory for my Mami but a great loss for those that loved her most. She was 63 years old, a week shy of 64.
I was reluctant to share this. I wanted to quit writing as so many of my Mami’s memories live on this blog. That’s when the Lord reminded me of Romans 8:28.
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
The past month was the most difficult of my life. Having to watch the woman you love most in your life slowly pass away was heart-wrenching … but God. His sweet presence was felt as people throughout our nation prayed over my family day and night. We could feel the power in those prayers. During this time, I lived intimately with my God and my family. Through His strength, my family was able to encourage one another that no matter what, everything would be okay. Although difficult, we would continue pressing on.
I have to tell you, the past year has been one of difficulty. It seems as though one trial has come right after another. My sister and dear friend lost their tiny babies too soon, a sweet sister in Christ lost her father too soon, and then finally my mother passed away, too soon. In looking back, I see that the Lord was preparing me for this newly found grief. A sorrow that might have been too heavy to bear had I not have been placed in deep waters beforehand.
Through everything, my father with such faith you cannot shake would repeat to me, “Nana, we will take things one day at a time. We only have today.”
It was hard for me. I’m a fixer. I wanted to fix my Mama. I wanted her to be healed with my own head knowledge and research. After a week into my Mami’s treatment, I had to surrender to the Lord that there was nothing I could do to change the course of His will. I had to stop worrying and I had to just be there for her. To sit beside her and read her Spanish fairytales. To watch a Spanish soap opera with her. To comb her hair, gently scratch her arms, and massage her legs and feet. To just be still with my Mami.
I will treasure those moments.
My Mami’s Legacy
I will miss my Mami for the rest of my life. I pray that I can carry on a bit of who she was. Through the years she taught me these things listed below by living them out.
- Don’t be jealous of your sisters, family, and friends. Oh, friends, she lived this. She was never jealous of others accomplishments, instead, she rejoiced with them.
- Don’t be bitter, instead, forgive. When people did her wrong, she was saddened but so quick to let things go and forgive. She always expressed to me to do the same.
- Be content with what He has given to you. She was truly a contented woman. She lived her life for her family and found joy in her simple, everyday life.
I hate sharing such sad things, but this is life.
This is true life and why our need for a Savior is so important. Without Him, this life would be meaningless. There would be no Hope. Through Him, joy can be found even in our deepest trials. I had days of peace and rest knowing that my Mami’s life was not ending but just beginning. My perspective is now on the eternal. I pray to continue to live just for today because tomorrow is not guaranteed. Some days will be good, some hard, but each can be filled with His love, joy, and peace when we believe that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior. When we believe that He came to this earth to shed his blood so that we can be in direct communication with our God and be saved for eternal life. Friends, if you don’t know Jesus, come. He knows you, He wants you, there is hope which gives meaning to your life lived today and for all eternity.
If you’re looking to know who Jesus is, leave me a comment or email me directly at [email protected]. I’ll pray with you and do my best to send you resources to get you connected with local believers.
Soon on the Blog!
My Mami wouldn’t want me to quit writing on this blog. She was my biggest supporter. I’m going to continue writing for my God and my Mami.
Throughout this past month, the Lord has invigorated my soul to share with you the importance of living a life in wellness.
Friends, I know hearing the word cancer can be scary to so many people. The truth is that 1 in 3 women will get cancer in their lifetime and 1 in 2 men will as well. That’s a staggering statistic and one you don’t have to be afraid of. First of all, if you have cancer, which I’m sure many of my readers do, there is hope! There are so many people curing their cancers by all natural treatments or an integrative approach. For those that don’t have cancer, I want to encourage you to be up to date with what’s going on in cancer treatments and preventative measures. Once you tap into that world you’ll be encouraged and empowered to live a life in real food and non-toxic green living. All that I will be sharing with you!
For now, I want to share some amazing resources with you.
- Chris Beat Cancer and his Square One Online Course – I really encourage everyone (even if you don’t have cancer) to watch this online course. It is so well put together and encourages and empowers you! It’s worth every penny!
- The Gerson Therapy – A proven protocol to heal cancer and many other degenerative diseases. Facebook group – Gerson Therapy Support Group.
- Cannabis Oil – This is a controversial topic but one that is gaining more recognition as a cure for a host of diseases including cancer. Check out the Facebook group, Cannabis Oil Success Stories for education. I’m a believer and supporter of cannabis oils and feel it should be made legal in all 50 states.
For now, my family needs time as we learn to walk this life with a gaping hole in it. I will forever miss my Mami but I pray that through her life, others will come to know the Lord Jesus.
My next post will be my functional medicine post and how it’s brought wellness to my life. I hope you will be encouraged!
What a beautiful testimony your mother is. Thank you for writing this, Diana. It brought tears to my eyes, tears of joy and tears of sorrow for your family’s loss. Thank God there is hope and life in Jesus!! We will see her again! She had a smile that would light up a room. She was a woman after God’s own heart. I love your family and am praying and rejoicing with you all! I’m so blessed to know you all and watch the godly example you all are. Thank you for sharing your heart, even when it is hard to do so. With much love…
Thanks for your words, Brenda. Love you much!
Thanks for sharing your story. We lost a dear relative recently to cancer but the memories are to be cherished. God bless you as you lived the legacy of your dear mother.
Thank you so much for sharing from your aching heart. May Jesus continue to sustain you through your grief.
Thanks, Colleen!
Thank you for sharing. I’m learning you don’t ever get over the loss of a parent, you just sort of grow into it. I don’t really know what to say…cancer (which took my bio Dad, yes I have 2 Dads) sucks and you’re already doing great things to help others fight it with diet. *Hug*
Yeah, I don’t feel I can ever get over this but growing into it, thanks for sharing that! Hugs to you, Amanda!
Such a beautiful post about your Mami. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 5 years ago this month. It is a hard journey made bearable through faith and family.
I’m so sorry, Amy. Thanks for sharing. <3
I lost my dad to cancer 15 years ago and now I’m watching my mother continue to battle leukemia and lung cancer. I didn’t know how to continue when my dad past. However, I found comfort in the Lord and His Word. Psalms 116:15 says “precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints” I know he too is with the Lord. Thank you for sharing your story and your faith. I pray you continue to heal and your faith remains strong. God be with you and yours.
Thank you, Kim. I’ll treasure that verse.
Thank you Kim. I’ll treasure that verse!
Sorry to read of your loss God took my Momma home at age 42 when I was 23 but he gave me wonderful parents in law long enough to mostly raise my children and I still have my GranMa for a little longer (100 in 5 weeks) it is hard to watch someone you love surrender to the Lords will and it is hard to continue without them but they leave us a legacy of memories and love so they live on in our hearts , in the voices and expressions of our children xx
Thanks for the encouragement, Reggi.
Dianna, how I needed this post today. Thank you for sharing and encouraging me when I need it the most in my life. I also had a terrible summer and lost my brother, 18 days after his 40th birthday and 43 days after being diagnosed with what doctors thought was a benign meningioma brain tumor but turned out to be an incredibly aggressive cancer. To watch your loved one suffer causes unbearable pain. We too are trying to heal as a family. I am also very interested in alternative natural treatments to cancer, but unfortunately his wife would not allow me to try any of them. The Gerson Therapy is not recommended for brain tumors because it causes some initial swelling which is not good around the brain, so I was trying to get her to do the budwig diet for him, but she wouldn’t allow. It’s hard for me to not hold angry feelings toward her so your moms message of forgiveness is timely, I’m trying but not sure I’m ready yet. I will pray for your family during this incredibly difficult time. I know how big of a hole such a sudden, heartbreaking loss is.
I’ll be praying for you, Jennifer. That the Lord softens your heart. It’s such a hard time and we all grieve differently. Thanks for sharing, Jennifer! Much love and blessings to you and yours.
My deepest condolences. My own father died from cancer 44 years ago. I was four. While the pain of that loss and missing him never quite goes away, the Lord has been my consolation. He has blessed me beyond measure. The Lord has truly been my Father, providing and taking care of me. As you learn to live a new normal, I pray He will carry you through this time showering you with grace and mercy! “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
Thank you for the encouragement, Jennie.
What a sweet tribute to your Mami!! May His peace flood your soul and comfort you in the days ahead until we are all reunited with Our Savior!!
Many hugs!!
L’Anna
Thanks, L’Anna, love you much!
I’m so sorry, Diana, I’d not realized your Mami was your mother; pancreatic cancer seems to always be so aggressive and not found out until it’s too late; so wish they could diagnose it sooner; they all seem to be so young; I, too, love the “growing into it”, glad to see you continuing to carry on her legacy
Thank you, Donna!
I’m so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful legacy she has left.
I have been researching alternative therapies for many years as I have lost too many, too soon to this disease. The resources you have shared are wonderful. Chris Wark is amazing and the testimonies of people who have reversed cancer with alternative therapies are inspiring. Some other incredible resources are Ty & Charlene Bollinger from The Truth about Cancer. They have a wonderful website and have done several informative docuseries. On November 2, The Sacred Plant:Healing Secrets Exposed by John& Corinne Malanca will begin airing again. It’s free to view. Cortney from AntiCancerMom, who reversed lymphoma mostly using Bill Henderson’s Protocol, has a great website. Cancer Tutor and Nick Gonzales are also great resources. Just as you are teaching your readers, they all too, encourage lifestyle changes.
Thank you for sharing, Patti. Yes, The Truth about Cancer is great and I’m already signed up for The Sacred Plant! I do plan on sharing that with my email subscribers. Thanks again for sharing!!
Hi Diana, I pray for you and your family that God Almighty will give you peace. “Be still and know that He is God..” “God has the good plans for you and your family, plans of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11. A life verse for me! Thank you.
Im sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing Praying for continuing strength. I have been watching Bible health secrets which is a great documentary. I have problems with my health dont know whats going on but changing my diet and praying and reading Gods word.
I started watching that as well. It’s a great series! I’ll be praying for your health issues, Melissa. I’d love to encourage you to see a functional medical doctor. They’ll run a comprehensive blood lab and get you on your way to wellness.
What a powerful and painful testimony. You are a gifted and generous writer. Thank you for sharing your story and the hope the we have through Jesus! Hugs, Diana.
Thank you, Lara. Love you!
I am’really Sorry for your lost. My mother died at age 65 from a heart attack. I am sure that our mothers are near our Lord and give us courage every day.
I pray for you and your family.
I’m sorry to hear that, Catou. I’m sure our mothers are near our Lord. What hope to know that we will see them again!
My dear sister in Christ…..thank you for sharing your beautiful story of your dear Mami. I too lost my Mami 7 years ago and I can still hear her voice and hold her warmly in my dreams. Someday, we will all be reunited with our mothers and all our loved ones in the Kingdom of God…..but in the meantime, please continue writing and sharing your gifts, talents, and graces, which have been bestowed upon you by our gracious and loving Lord.
Your mamita, you and your family will remain in my daily evening prayers. ….may the peace and love of our beloved Lord and our Blessed Mother of God, dwell in your heart always….MaryHelen
Thank you, Mary Helen! <3
I’m so sorry for your loss. I too have lost loved ones in the last year, many of them to cancer. I am reminded daily that God still loves me and hasn’t forsaken me. While I am still here, and envious that they get to finally meet Jesus and our Heavenly Father, I take comfort in knowing that my loved ones have finished their work on earth, but I have more work to do! While my father is still here on earth, a little of him goes each day (he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2010) and I miss him more & more. I miss his words of wisdom and his laughter and his love for Christ, as I know you do your momma’s.
Thank you for sharing your story. I pray that each day the waves of grief grow smaller and that your memories grow stronger, that you laugh and smile, even when your eyes leak. God’s promise remains becuase we believe!
((Hugs))
My heart goes out to you Diana. I feel your pain very much. It’s been such a tough year for us as well. I haven’t lost my mother, but I’ve seen her go through extreme difficulty that is causing serious health issues. I’ve watched my father’s health decline and seen him almost pass away several times and many, many more things. Todd and I have gone through the ringer. It takes it’s toll. It wears you down, BUT we have the Lord. He lifts us up. He gives us the ability to handle the pain and move forward and encourages us to set our eyes on Him. I struggle daily with the things going on, not knowing how to make the right decisions right now as I continue in this period of difficulty and it’s encouraging to read the thoughts of a woman who truly loves our Heavenly Father and turns to Him in your struggle. May the Lord bless you. He has blessed your mother. She has the greatest blessing of all. She’s in the Lord embrace. She no longer must struggle and have pain, anguish, heartache. The tears have been wiped away and joy fills her to her depth. That is the blessing of knowing the Lord, a blessing that passes on to those still on earth while they heal from the pain of loss.
Thanks so much for this encouragement, Therese. I’m sorry to hear about your parents and struggles you may be going through. Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing some of that. I’ll be sure to keep your family uplifted in prayer. Huge hug to you!!
I am so sorry for your loss. I know what you went through. My mom passed away almost two years ago from lung cancer. She was 75. It had spread everywhere by the time she went to the dr. She chose radiation and chemo and we got the 9 months the dr said we would get (although not quality at all). My mom was a Christian and stayed in her Bible until the cancer took her thinking process. I remember about half way through she told me that God told her in her prayer time to wait, He had this… she had such a peace after that. My sister was with her the night she went to be with Jesus and said her eyes had such a bright sparkle in them and she had a great big smile. This was such a blessing to know that she went home. My daughter had just gotten engaged a month prior to her death, and she chose my mom, (her nanas) birthdate to get married. I honestly dont know how anyone gets through the hard times in life without God and your Christian brother and sisters praying for you. I look forward to more of your healthy living journey in my inbox.
I’m so thankful for Jesus. Thanks for sharing, Mickie.
I’m so sorry to hear you have lost your dear Mami.
Please don’t take this wrong, but I don’t think I’ve read your blong in 5 years – it lives in a category on my Feedly reader that I rarely check anymore. But when I saw this post wiz by, I knew I had to take a look. I knew instantly what blog it was from – the urban gardner with the sweet, dearly loved Mami who shared her own yard for that purpose, too.
I am inspired by your seeking to find purpose writing when your biggest fan has left. In my own way, I have been struggling through many years of depression following the loss of my own purpose in my own creative endevors. You will be in my thoughts I’m sure, as I don’t see this noticing your post as an accident! My comfort find you and your family swiftly.
I just came across your blog last week and just finished reading your post about your Mami. I’m very sorry that she left this earth and you at such a young age. But, thank God, we have a living hope in Him! Keep hanging your life on those life giving words and I will look forward to your future posts.
Thanks, Cheryl.
Dear Diana and Family, I recently read about the loss of your dear loved one. I am very sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult things we can experience. May you find comfort in the memories you shared together and the Bible’s promise that soon death will be no more (Revelation 21:3&4). Our loving God Jehovah has given us this encouraging promise for the future. Please accept my condolences.
Thank you. Yes, I do lean on that promise too. Thank you!
It’s humbling to read your post about your mom. Baumans South have been praying for you all, and we were so sorry to hear about her passing. She left an awesome legacy and family behind. I’ve been reading more and more about functional medicine and trying more natural approaches to health care in our family. Thanks for your posts and the blog. Blessings!
Thanks, Sandy.
Oh sweet Diana, you and your family have been on my heart every minute since Jami told me of your mom’s passing. I cannot fathom what you’re all going through. You are always such a light, and someone I think of often with admiration. I know that you are a wonderful testimony to your mother’s light and love, and any parent could be proud to leave behind such a legacy. You are dearly loved. I hold you in my heart.
Sonyetta, thank you so much for the encouragement. It’s hard. xoxo!!