Life this year has been anything but simple.
A job loss which lead to fear of the unknown, panic and anxiety, the toppling of pride… suffering.
I’ve been walking on a rocky path that’s often left me breathless as I’ve dealt with a heavy burden of weight suffocating my inner soul. You may be confused as throughout this year I’ve continued posting recipes and photos of my garden which have flourished and blessed us with a tremendous bounty this year.
I’ve been able to share those types of posts as through my suffering, I’ve never lost my joy. Although I haven’t fall into a depression, I have been dealing with severe anxiety that’s been mostly mental. I’ve feared for my health as I quite literally have breathing problems which I’ve learned initiate in my mind. As I get stressed, I feel a weight compress my upper chest making me feel as though I can’t take in a deep breath. As I reach for more air, it’s made me hyperventilate and commence a cyclical pattern that I’ve been fighting with since this past June.
It seems really silly to write about but it’s been very real to me. I’ve feared of lung cancer, heart problems, and everything in between.
What has kept me veraciously fighting for life, free of fear, has been my husband, my children, and most importantly, my God. Through every struggle I’ve seen this year its made me grow closer to my Savior, my Messiah… Abba. Its made me thirst for his presence, for his touch, for his embrace.
It’s made me search for who he really is.
The one clear thing my God has shown me through this time of suffering is that I’ve been scared of death. I’ve been scared of what comes after this life.
Call it a midlife crisis, but the Lord has used this time to show me that I’ve allowed the enemy into my mind much to often to work against the sacrifice of his son. To work against the fact that Jesus died for me.
If I truly believe that Jesus laid down his life to save me, why should I be afraid of losing mine when I know that a life free of stress, of pain, of suffering awaits me in the presence of my God. I’ve asked myself these questions, and this past week, I cried out to God, “Lord, please send me something that you may show me, clearly show me, that you love me, that you hear me, that you long for me.”
I dried my tears and left it at that, having complete faith that God was going to show me something.
My God is Alive
For the past few months, my husband has been working away from my family. To help me out, my mami has been inviting the children and I for supper every Monday night. Its been an incredible blessing to know that a nourishing meal awaits us that I don’t have to labor over. Its also heart warming that my mami takes it upon herself to bathe my children after supper. I know, she’s pretty great.
This past Monday, as I was nearing my mami’s house, I stopped at a stop sign. Looking in both directions to see if it was my turn to go, I noticed an elderly couple walking hand in hand across the street. The woman had her husbands hand grasped in her own as she walked violently ahead without looking up. The man, much taller than her, kept a tight hold to her hand as he hurriedly followed behind.
In that moment I knew that God was showing me that my life is in his hands and that he’s not done with me yet. He knows the desires of my heart has always been to grow old with my husband. To be that cute little old couple going out to a local cafe each morning to enjoy a warm cup of coffee – Gabe quietly sitting beside me as I make conversation with anyone willing to listen. I know that may sound funny, but I actually dream about this. It’s definitely true when people say I have an old soul.
Seeing this couple, I saw my own life with my husband and knew right away that seeing this was a gift from God. I nearly broke down in tears and thanked my Lord for thinking of me.
Letters of Hope
A couple days after seeing my first gift from God, he answered me again. Late Wednesday afternoon, After finishing a few things up on the computer, I went out to get the mail. As I filtered through the letters, to my surprise, I received a note from a woman at church that wrote me just to let me know that she was thinking of me. It was the sweetest note filled with encouraging words that brought me to my knees. I knew right away that God impressed it onto her heart to bless me and in that simple note I saw a living God. Oh, did I ever pour out my heart and sing praises to my God. It was pretty apparent that this wasn’t just a coincidence but completely God ordained.
Finally, this past Saturday, as I gathered the mail, again, I received a second note from a different woman at church sending me more encouraging words. It was almost like God was telling me, you see, it wasn’t a coincidence, I love you and I’m here. I hear your thoughts, I hear your prayers… I’m here.
I’m still left in amazement at the outpouring of his love. It made my faith and joy reach measures beyond anything I could have ever expected it to.
Really, it’s amazing!
I have so much to share with you that I’ve been holding back for fear of sharing too much… embarrassment, pride. Well, God has clearly shown me that I need to share some of what my family has been through this year so that you can see his glory. It’s not easy but God used it all for good – I’m happy to say that this year of crap is ending on a sweet note. When I reflect on this year, if it wasn’t for some of the suffering we’ve been through, I don’t know how much I would have grown in my relationship with Christ and in my faith in who he is.
So stay tuned, okay 😉 For today, I wanted to encourage you that in your trials and in your suffering, reach out to God. Spend time with him each morning, in his word and in prayer. Then, don’t be afraid to ask him to reveal himself to you. He loves you and wants you to seek him that you may grow into a deep and loving relationship with him.
If you have any questions or prayer requests, feel free to leave them in the comments below. We’re all in this together! Also, has God every answered your prayer? Please share your testimony in the comments below
I do have a unspoken prayer request and wish very much for prayer.
Dear Lord, I pray for Sue that you will answer her in your perfect timing. Give her the faith to wait on that timing as I know it can be so difficult to wait. I pray Lord that she sees you love her and that you want nothing but the best for her, most importantly that she clings to the fact that ALL things work together for good to those that Love God. I pray you give her peace in the midst of her needs. In your sweet son’s name, Amen.
This has also been the ” year of crap” in our family and its also ending on a sweeter note. God has answered prayers for our 3 year old son. He went from hardly speaking in February to speaking in full sentences by October. There were many sleepless nights filled with anxiety and googling on the computer. I wish I could say I remained steadfast and faithful the whole time. But, I didn’t. I was angry and terrified. The sound of my sweet boy’s voice now brings me such joy and delight! I will NEVER take any of his abilities for granted and thank God for blessing our family. We still have work to do in speech, but I know everything will be better than okay. It is and will be amazing. God Bless your family!!
What an amazing testimony, April. Thanks so much for allowing us to see God’s glory!
This was so encouraging. I am a grandmother and to hear that the younger generation is turning to God really thrills my soul. Even at my age I still have to remember that “every valley has a Lily”. Thank you for being bold for Jesus.
Thank you for this. I needed to hear it.
About 18 months ago, while we were in the process of moving from Alaska to Iowa to be closer to our families, our apartment burned down and took literally all of our wordly possessions with it. We have one cast iron skillet left from pre-fire. No wedding photos, no mementos, none of my husband’s artwork. Lots of other things also happened to us in Alaska. We were beaten down by Christians and it was honestly a horrific experience.
Now, after about 18 months of not attending church because the thought of going gives me panic attacks like what you describe, we are considering trying it again. Your story gives me hope that there are people out there who are the hands and feet of Jesus…people who walk alongside instead of judge from on high. We are also in the midst of waiting to hear if my husband got a job that we desperately want. This week is going to be rough – thank you for your story – there is light at the end of the tunnel, there truly is.
I’m so sorry to hear of all you are going through. We Christians can be so nasty to each other and it is NOT the way Christ lived or what His word says is the way we should treat one another. I pray you and your husband can work through the hurt and reach forgiveness. I will also pray for your job situation, and that you can find a loving church home.
Hugs from a fellow Iowan and sister in Christ.
Corinne – thank you. You are incredibly kind. And I agree – the nastiness just needs to end. For us, it is honestly fear at this point. We have moved past forgiveness, but now feel some fear at trusting another church family. All will be well, though, and I do believe we are getting there. I love people from Iowa! It is so nice to know there is a food community here, even if not in my neighborhood!
I understand how that must be hard, Alaina. I pray that you find a fellowship of believers that truly love one another and know that as a body it’s our responsibility to forgive, and not quarrel over silly things. It happens much to often and people get hurt, causes division, and is just ugly. I’m so sorry you had to go through that! I’ll be praying for you!
My 89 year old momma came to live with us last December. Her health is failIng and with a leg amputee a year ago, she is wheelchair bound. Caring for her has been a challenge. Last week, my husband was laid off from work. Without a miracle, we will lose everything we’ve worked so hard for over the past 30 years. I know that all good and perfect gifts come from the Father and I’m grateful for his many blessings throughout my 62 years of life. I’m asking God for my husband’s salvation, for a job for him, and for peace and joy during this dark time in our lives. Thank you for sharing your faith and God’s perfecting of it in your life and in your family. I love your posts and the evidence that we never stop growing when we’re walking with Jesus.
I am praying for you Helen. We too have begun this season of life where we must help more with parents. It’s a huge responsibility. I will also pray for your husband’s job situation and most importantly his salvation. It is such a heartbreak when our loved ones reject the Lord. I hope you have a good network of sisters in Christ and a loving church family to help and encourage you through this time.
Hugs from a fellow sister.
Helen, I’ll be praying for you as well! I know how difficult that job loss can be, but once your nearing retirement, that has to be much more difficult to endure. God is good, so I know he’ll pull you through this. Much love!
Thanks for praying! My husband is working – 3000 miles from home w/ Mom and me on the West Coast and him in NYC. God is providing: two adult friends now occupy our grown children’s bedrooms, we have an income again, and God is giving me the strength to meet each day of this challenge with “peace that passes ALL understanding!” My prayer is that he will see our precious Lord in this and that he find work near home so we can be together again.
Its good to share-we then realize how much alike we all are:) ! I’m doing a bible study called A Confident Heart @ Proverbs 31 Ministries and learning more and more how our worth (value) is not about who WE are , but WHOSE we are. “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. (1 Peter 5:7 NLT) Isn’t that cool to know that the God of the Universe cares for US..The world tells us otherwise sometimes but we know that Gods promises ARE true. right? Thanks for sharing!
Amen, Jackie! Thanks for sharing that!
I, too, have many things going on in life that make me scared! Fear about everything from A-Z…yet my Heavenly Father reminds me that He has not given me a spirit of fear but of power, love and a SOUND mind! (emphasis mine)…alot of what I experience here on this earth attacks my mind…and when I look at the circumstances I freak out!(to say the least! lol)…God is so loving and patient with me…He gently reminds me His word is the Truth of every situation/circumstance and when I look to HIm and His word…I am able to rest knowing that every battle belongs to my Lord! May God bless you and keep you…make His face to shine upon you and give you peace.
Oh goodness, thanks for that promise Marlea! Yes, He gave us a spirit of POWER! I often forget that!
Beautiful post Diana 🙂
Thank you all for sharing here. I know it is hard but imagine how our mothers felt dealing with this type of anxiety alone. I do not know of a single woman that does not take on all of the problems of their family or the world for that matter. We are so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for. Everyday I when I am faced with a challenge I remind myself to just trust God. We will all survive. Please do not lose faith nor forget that we have each other. Love heals everything and everyone.
Great encouragement, Vicki!
About 15 years ago we went through some pretty scary times. God saw me through it. Took care of us pretty well, as I look back. He gave me a Psalm 37 to pray. I’m still learning from that bit of scripture every time a new problem arises. God is good. He does hear you…. and He will speak to you too, especially through His Word (whether you read it or someone blesses you as your friends at church have done). I encourage you to find that ‘word’ that He has just for you at this time in your journey.
May God bless you and each member of your family today.
Another scripture God is reminding me of these days…
Better the little that the righteous has, than the abundance of many wicked.
Why? Because God knows what you need to be sustained…. in this life and even in the next. Abundance will not help us escape judgement, but know His Son and being covered in His gift of HIS righteousness will. And since we recently celebrated The Reformation… gotta throw in the Eph.3 verse: It’s by grace (undeserved gift) that you have been saved; not by works, so that no one can boast. So, you got it right!…. On Christ The Solid Rock WE STAND!
I have felt the crushing anxiety you speak of. It is not something I would say I want to go thru again but know its a very real possibility. I have prayed please many times. Sometimes literally not sure what I was praying please for. I’m with you on not wanting to die yet. I want to grow old with my husband, watch my kids and grandkids. I absolutely and positively love my family and can’t imagine a happy life without them Even though I know in my head I know heaven is a better place. In my very very imperfect life that I am 100% certain has Jesus shaking his head saying “Jennifer, Jennifer, what am I going to do with you?” I 100% believe in Him and that he has my back. Sometimes I only see it in hindsight. The weight, anger, anxiety, fear has been easing rapidly. Every so often I get a happy surprise from God that instantly brings me to tears because He is showing me that things are getting better, healing and that absolutely great things can come out of”crap”. This post brought tears because to me it was one more sign of many that comes out of the blue that life is close to a summer season after an extremely long dark winter. Thank you and I will be praying for your summer.
Thanks for sharing that, Jenny! Yeah, it’s so easy to let the enemy control our thoughts. Ugh… I praise God for his mercy and grace!
Hi Diana,
What a beautiful post..Truly our God is an awesome God ..he’s alive and active .
He’s always given me the best more than I asked for..And for the many unaswered prayer I know that he will answer me if its his holy will …
I’m so glad to follow your lovely blog from today..I just stopped by and found this wonderful post..
Thanks for sharing that with us Gloria! Have a beautiful week!
You have touched so many with this post. Thank you so much for sharing this. Tears well up in my eyes with every reply. It is so nice not feeling alone. May God continue to bless us all. I appreciate the strength in all of you. Stay strong,
Yup, I think God is using this to let us know that we all are loved and not alone in this fight to the end 🙂 God is good!
Thank you so much for your “realness”. I feel as if you were reading my own thoughts. I have been struggling with fear in general lately and I too dream of growing old with my husband. I feel like I am carrying a burden of concerns while trying to find peace and joy for the gift of today. I have been crying out for God to reveal himself to me and long for that everyday. I see Him in my blessings but I truly need to hear His voice. Its so easy to let fear rule my thoughts when I want so much to be courageous. After revealing these thoughts I now find myself so thankful that I can read what others are going through and in turn pray for them as I also ask for prayer.
Dear God, I pray for Stephanie. Lord as you’ve shown me, it takes a heart of faith to allow you to work in our lives. I pray Lord that Stephanie stands on that promise and that she completely opens herself up to you. Father, show Stephanie that you love her. Let her know in only the ways that you do that you will never abandon nor forsake us. Give her peace in her heart and fill he with joy that only you can give. In Jesus name, Amen.
Last year was a very, very difficult year for us. Won’t go in to detail, but it involved a lot of heartache and personal turmoil. Trust in God and putting Him at the center of our marriage and family has gotten us through it and made us stronger. And taught us a lot of lessons!
It’s neat to see you praise God in all that you’ve learned! Thanks for that, Melanie!
Diana- First of all, it was so wonderful to meet you on Saturday! What a honest and beautiful post. I can so relate, the past year and several months have been difficult for our family. My husband lost his job in July of 2012 when the owner was found guilty of embezzling over $200 million in customer funds. We have been so thankful that he was able to have an income coming in while he helped close up the books for the business and deal with the aftermath of everything. But throughout this whole time he’s struggled to find another accounting job, he’s been on countless interviews, etc, etc. I’ve been praying this entire time for God to show us what the answer is, do we need to move to another state and start over? What exactly do we need to do? I’ve been bitter, angry, sad, feeling sorry for myself. Since July of this year we’ve been back in church after falling away for a few years, it’s done wonders for my soul. I think for the first time throughout this whole ordeal I no longer feel all of those emotions, instead I’m happy, really happy. I feel joy, I’m not stressing or worrying anymore. I’m leaving this all up to God, I have faith that something great will come along….in his timing. For now my husband is working at a local distribution center doing warehouse packaging for stores. It’s nothing like what he was used to doing, it has nothing to do with his degree but it’s a job for him to go to and it’s providing an income. He works nights so it’s been hard taking care of the three girls on my own at night, it’s hard keeping kids quiet during the day while he sleeps and it can even get lonely at night when I want nothing more than for him to be home with us. But instead I’m going to choose to be joyful, keeping honoring, worshiping and serving our heavenly father and have faith that he will lead us in the direction that’s meant for our family.
Oh Steph, thanks for sharing that. I’m SO glad to have met you as well. I know how hard it is and ughh.. I know all the hardship that comes from that. I’ll be praying that God brings your husband a new job and that you can begin anew. You know, if you ever want to meet for coffee, I would love that!!
A wonderful and life-changing Christian support group that I have participated in is the Ultimate Journey (formerly Christ Life). It has three phases to it. Phase one walks you through your past to bring healing and right (Biblical truth) thinking into your life about who you are in Christ. Presently I am in phase two, focusing on putting off my old self and putting on Christ, and studying all he has done for me (us) through his eternal covenant with the Father before we were even created. It is so freeing and comforting.This organization is based out of Des Moines, IA, but I know there are groups all over. From there website:
Life’s a journey. How is yours going?
Are you feeling spiritually stuck?
Do you often find yourself thinking, “There must be more”? The Ultimate Journey will help you identify the areas where you are struggling and assist you toward a deeper relationship with God so that you can experience the fullness of the incredible relationship he wants to have with you.
Has something happened that is holding you back?
Is there something in your life you don’t know how to “get over” or “get past”? Are you struggling with depression, anxiety, anger, or addiction? Have you experienced emotional, physical, or sexual abuse? Were you abandoned? Are you the casualty of a divorce? Did someone close to you die? You’re not alone. There is hope. The Ultimate Journey will help you identify and work through your past while preparing you for an abundantly successful future. The Ultimate Journey teaches a new way of looking at yourself.
Are difficulties in your life negatively affecting the people around you?
Do you ever say or do something and then ask yourself, “Why did I do that? Is that the kind of person I want to be?” Do you find yourself hurting the very people you love the most? Unfortunately, hurting people often hurt people. You don’t have to be a slave to your emotions or circumstances any longer. The Ultimate Journey is ready to guide you toward the freedom you’ve been looking for.
If Christ came to set us free, why are so many people still in bondage?
Even after receiving Christ, most people still believe the negative voices of their past rather than what God says about them. Through The Ultimate Journey you will be able to exchange the lies for the truth so you can see yourself as God sees you. As a result, you will experience wholeness and walk in true freedom that will transform your life.
Join Us on The Ultimate Journey
Equipping people to be followers of Christ who live their lives with nothing to prove, nothing to lose, nothing to fear, and nothing to hide.
http://www.theultimatejourney.org/
Thanks for sharing, Corinne! I’ll have to check that out!
I understand the breathing issue. Two and a half years ago I had a car accident for which I was responsible. My husband who is disabled and totally dependant on me for round the clock care was with me. Although the accident was minor, the remorse I felt for causing it grew to the point that by the time we reached home my throat closed and I could not speak , just gasp for air. I ended up in the ER and was released the next day. The breathing episodes continued for a couple of weeks, gradually getting easier. During this time I realized I wasn’t infallible and that God was the one holding us together. But then in November seemingly out of the blue I had another throat closure which ended me back in the ER. This time I also sought the help of a nutritional therapist and discovered a gluten and dairy intolerance. I have not had a recurrance of the throat closure since although I still suffer from severe indigestion . But I am thankful that I am in His Hands.
Oh my Valerie. I pray that God brings you strength. I can’t imagine all of the work that you must do. What a blessing you are! Thanks for sharing about your gluten and dairy intolerance. I’m going to schedule a visit at a naturopath and see if they have anything they can share with me.
I am 71. My husband died in March, 2012 and I’m still grieving for him and always will. Though my problems are different (losing my home soon, living on social security, etc.) everything is falling in line for me. I prayed to St. Jude (I’m Catholic) and explained everything going on in my life and how it was all falling apart now. Within 2 weeks, I was offered a nearby home to rent for however long I needed it and a home to live in when I move back to my home state (this Spring). He is the Saint of hopeless causes and I told him that many would not think my situation was hopeless, but I knew I needed help. Keep your faith and pray to God or St. Jude or whoever you feel will help you. So many people are losing their jobs, homes, loved ones, etc. Stay strong and live in the present. The future is full of anxiety, the past is gone. We must remember to be grateful for what we have right now. It may not be all that we want, but it’s what we have. I hope everyone responding to Diana’s post will reach out to her and relay a positive message.
Thanks for your sweet message, Barb. I’ll be sending you a lot of prayers I’m sure losing your husband was very difficult.
Dear Lord, I pray for my sweet sister in Christ, Barb. Please father show her how much love you have for her and that although her husband has passed into eternity you are her loving helpmeet that will bring her strength, peace, and even joy in this life that she still lives. I pray that she reaches out to you and knows that you can still user her in mighty ways to further your kingdom today. In Jesus name, Amen.
Awesome. Love you chica 🙂
I love you to!
I sometimes find myself down and close to depression or maybe facing something difficult, asking for a sign–some signal that God is there. These words to a song frequently come to my mind reminding me that I need to quit wallowing and I need to suck it up, think about what I’ve already made it through, and have faith:
What does he have to do before you will praise him?
What does he have to be before you’ll believe?
How many struggles you face must he overcome?
What does he have to do that he hasn’t already done?
Isn’t it true, Jennifer. The rising of the sun is a miracle. The breath that we take each day. He’s everywhere and I encourage you to stand on that faith. Know that you know that he will reveal himself to you. Dig in his word…seek and you will find! Much love to you, Jennifer!!
Hi Diana,
Your sharing always touch my heart. Everything is so perfect in my life now that I am so scare that I will lost it. I am worry that I will get cancer. I am worry that I will put into test by God. Sometimes I couldn’t feel him. So much uncertainty and sometimes I feel unsecured. Good to know that I am not the only one. Your post is the best thing that I have read today. God is answering.
Don’t worry, Peiszong. That is not from God. Have joy in your blessings today and just praise his name! Thank you so much for stopping by!
Have a blessed day!!
I so admire God in your life. I was diagnosed with Scleroderma 2 years ago; told at best I would live 2 years without medication. Clearly I could hear God say to be as Daniel and the 3 Hebrew Children in this day. Searching for natural ways to bring healing to my body brought me to your website.
i remember that in February of this year, God told me I was healed. People did not believe it. Things were said such as, “Oh, you are waiting on the manifestation of His healing.” Or, “You are simply applying scripture to your situation.” No, God said in His Word in Isaiah 53, “But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.” It is interesting that Isaiah refers to Jesus in the past tense when he was not yet born… “was wounded, was bruised…” as if it had already happened, but again Jesus was not yet born. But then he says, “and with his stripes we ARE healed.” Understanding that are includes the past, the present, the future, and throughout eternity. It occurred to me by God’s revelation that we ARE healed. I decided at that moment in February that whenever I felt my skin burning, tightening, or my joints stiffen, or shortness of breath, or my mouth tighten, or burning pins and needles sensations in my feet, or even Reynaud’s, that I would bless God according to Isaiah 53. July 11, 2013, I walk into the rheumatologist’s office who with red face and joy declared me in good health. He was convinced I would be dead by July 2013.
June 2013, I was in Birmingham running. I run 3 miles daily when the weather is warm. I saw a woman fishing with 2 girls. I stopped to converse with her. She told me her daughter died and she was taking care of her 2 girls. I knew she died of Scleroderma. My eyes lit up and I asked her how she died and she confirmed what I already knew. I told her I also was diagnosed with Scleroderma and told her my story. Her eyes were wider than mine as she could not tell I was a Sclero patient but noticed the tell tale signs of my slightly bent elbows and the slight constriction of my fingers. Her daughter was diagnosed in 2011 around the same time as me. We both had blood pressure readings in the triple digits. I should have gone to the ER (according to my rheumatologist) that night I had that episode. I told my husband to just pray and refused to go as I felt if I went, that I would not come home from the hospital and that I would die. The young lady did go to the ER when she had her episode. She did not come home from the hospital. She died. The things I feared they would treat me with and would bring my demise, are the very medications she was treated with. God confirmed to me that day upon meeting this woman’s mother that I was on the right path. God confirmed to that mother that there is indeed nothing too hard for Him, that she can trust Him for anything, that she is not to trust in man, but in God and God alone; to acknowledge Him in all her ways, allowing Him to direct her path.
Just yesterday, I took my daughter to the dentist. We were there last in May 2013. She commented on how good I looked then and how much better I look even now. God is so very awesome. Financially the disease has strapped our family. But God has and will supply all our need according to His riches in glory.
I have so many stories to tell also over these past two years of journey. All I can say is God is so very awesome.
Blessings.
I forgot to add I never took medications recommended by my rheumatologist. I changed my diet, took nutritional supplements, and a medication called low dose Naltrexone which runs me about $23 per month for a 30 day supply from a compounding pharmacist. My co pay for Cellcept to slow the progression of Scleroderma was $1500.00. I experience no side effects from the Naltrexone and I don’t have to have the flu shot or wear a mask as a result of my immune system being suppressed. I don’t have side effects from using chemo therapy drugs.
God is so very awesome!
Blessings.
I am so grateful for this post, and I relate to it so much. This past year has been blisteringly difficult. On more than one occasion, God has showered gifts of grace on me and reassured me that He is holding me close. I look forward to hearing more from your faith journey. Such uplifting words!
Oh my, God has definitely spoken to me today through you. I have had a horrific morning – family issues- and then I get this email from you as part of the real food mission. Slowly I read through your post about panic attacks and my jaw dropped on surprise. This has been happening to me for the past month. I have been under loads of stress and started to worry about my health. I am turning 40 this year and although the age doesn’t bother me, the fact is I fear dying and leaving my children and husband behind. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer at 44 and my brother with colon cancer at 36. My deepest desire is to make it to old age with my husband doing nothing more than being together. Thank you for your email and your post. God is speaking to me through you of my need to spend time in prayer to him. To trust him. I know you do not know me, but would you please pray for me. Thank you again.
I have grown up in a very Christian environment but had strayed from him. In 2012 I recommitted my life to him. I’ve had seizures for 8 years. I’d been having a hard time with them and was praying fiercely for a solution. I became pregnant, as we were trying, and when he was born, he was very colicky. Turned out he had a gluten allergy, and was breastfeeding. I was still praying strongly for an answer to my seizures at this time, and truly begining to doubt God. 3 months after cutting gluten from my diet I looked back and realized I hadn’t had a single seizure since removing it! As it turns out, I too have a gluten sensitivity so fierce, it causes seizures. Multiple other problems I’ve has my whole life have gone away as well! I feel not only was this baby boy an addition to our family, he was our saving grace sent by The Lord!
I am a little late responding to this post but I have to say Diana your love for God is so inspiring. I wish there was a place close to me to share time to socialize and bible study. I am praying for you and your family for a better year.
Hi Diana. I have a prayer request. I have major doubts all the time but I feel the need for God to exist and the human condition adds to that need. We all need a Savior to save us from sin. As much as I believe that, another part of my brain thinks that when I pray, “It happened by coincedince” or “It wasn’t from God.” Please pray that I overcome these doubts and that I may be strengthened by them. And to everyone who has doubts and wonders why, remember DOUBT IS NOT THE OPPOSITE OF FAITH!!! UNBELIEF IS THE OPPOSITE OF FAITH!!! Some of the biggest biblical people had doubts. John the Baptist for one had extreme doubt. So much, in fact, that he sent his disciples to ask Jesus “are you the Expected One, or should we look for someone else?” Jesus, did not get angry with John but instead appealed to his question. He basically told him, “All the people are being healed in the name of God. I Am He.” Jesus did not get angry with John. Far from it, he gave John hope. Don’t let doubt rule your life. Come to God with your troubles and don’t hide a any of it. He will help you. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
John 14:27 NIV.
He cares for you. Remember that. Also, Diana, I think what you’re doing is great. Thank you for sharing your struggles. It lets people know they aren’t fighting alone. Thanks! 🙂
Ricky.
Hey, Ricky. For sure I’ll pray for you. Dear God, I pray that you can overcome Ricky’s doubts and allow him to just Believe. As the boy’s Father exclaimed in Mark 9:24, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” Show Ricky how to lean on you but most importantly to just trust you. To trust that your words are true. In Jesus name, Amen. God bless you, Ricky.